Truth or Dare Madness
by Obsessivefangirl03
Summary: I know that everyone does truth or dares, but that's why I wanted to do this. I hope you will take the chance to check out mine.
1. Intro

**Hey look at that, I'm not dead. I knew it had been forever since I updated any of my stories, but I hadn't really realized until I went to upload a new document to my Doc Manager and saw so many of them gone. And here I am, coming up with a new story insted of updating any of my old ones, or writing the ones I'm supposed to have already started but haven't. Great job, Rach.**

**Also I am co-writing this with my friend LiveLaughLove0810. But it is mostly me. She had no say in this chapter whatsoever. It is all my fault.**

**Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Hussie. If I owned it there would be no dying and a lot more pairings and no one would read it due to shittiness.**

* * *

**A girl sits alone in her room, typing the intro to a bad fanfiction and listening to Get Scared songs on her iTunes. Why, you may ask? Because, she would reply, she has no friends and doesn't want to do her homework.**

"Rach, why are you talking in third-person?" Kayla asked me?

"_Shh! I'm trying to sound ominous._" I whispered.

"Wow. Just wow." she replied.

"_Shut up, you're ruining everything!_"

"Okay, jeez, sorry."

"_Whatever._"

"Why are you whispering?"

"_Because I'm trying to intro the story as the annoying narrator in bold, but when I'm talking and the words aren't in bold and also have my name in front, that is when I am able to speak to the characters._"

"But I could hear you when you were talking in bold."

"_Yes, you could hear me because you are co-writing this story with me. But you are the only one. None of the players will know that it is me, they will just hear a voice in the sky, and as long as I am talking in bold they will not be able to see me._'

"Oh. Can I do that?" Kayla asked.

"_No._"

"Why? I'm writing this too."

"_Yes but you are not the annoying narrator. That is me_."

"Well you are annoying."

"_Shut up_."

"But I still don't know why you're whispering."

"_Oh. Well..._ Actually I don't know either." I stopped whispering and began to speak at a normal volume.

"Wow."

"Oh shoosh." I told her.

**Well, now that that's over (thanks again for ruining everything, Kayla)**

"You're welcome." she said to the narrator.

***glares***

Kayla laughed.

**Anyway, now that that is over, this is a Hometuck Truth or Dare ( if you couldn't tell by the title). I'm basically just writing this because everyone else does it, so I wanted to join the party. Now enough of me boring you with my ramblings, it's time to gather up everyone! *devious smile* Kayla!**

"Yes?" she responded.

**Go round up our players!**

"Why do I have to do it?"

**Because I'm lazy.**

"Ugh. You suck."

**Fine! If you don't want to do it then I'll just text them, you lazy ass.**

"You're the lazy ass!"

**Ugh, fine. Let's just compromise and say that we are both lazy asses.**

"Fine. Just go text everybody."

* * *

**To:** ectoBiologist; tentacleTherapist; turntechGodhead; gardenGnostic;

apocalypseArisen; adiosToreador; twinArmageddons; carcinoGeneticist;

aresnicCatnip; grimAuxiliatrix; gallowsCalibrator; arachnidsGrip;

centaursTesticle; terminallyCapricious; caligulasAquarium; cuttlefishCuller

**Subject:** party

Hey guys! Kayla & I r throwing kind of a get-together and I want all of u

there. Trust me it's gonna be awesome. Be at Kayla's house at 6. See u

guys there.

**~~~~ _Time skip_ ~~~~~**

Karkat walked up to Kayla's house. It was only 5:57 but it looked like he was the last to show up. He walked up the steps and was about to knock, but before he could the door swung open to reveal an excited Rachel. This was going to be a long evening.

"Shouty! Finally you're here! Your're the last to show up." she exclaimed.

"SORRY, I WAS WATCHING A ROMCOM AND LOST TRACK OF TIME. AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME 'SHOUTY'?" he yelled at her.

"To not do it." she replied.

"SO WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CALL ME THAT?"

"Because you always shout everything you say. And because it irritates you." Rachel answered.

Karkat facepalmed.

"Come on in." Rachel said.

She pulled Karkat inside where he was met by all of the rest of the trolls and kids, and Rachel's very pissed off-looking friend Kayla. Rachel keeps telling you that they're moirails, and you keep telling her that humans don't have moirails because troll romance is too complicated for them to comprehend. That's when she tells you that it isn't that complicated to her because her brain works differently, and it's designed to over-complicate things and make them difficult, so complicated stuff is easy to her and easy stuff is sometimes (but not always) hard and blah blah blah. By that point you start to tune her out. Somethimes she can ramble as much as you can.

"Rachel, there is way too many people here." Kayla said to Rachel. "Why did you tell everyone to come to my house?"

"Well I couldn't tell them to come to my house. There's the possibilty that they will touch stuff and move it around, and it will drive my OCD brain crazy. You know how I get when you come over. Imagine that, but like, times 20." Rachel told her.

"Bitch." Kayla said.

Rachel shrugged. "Yeah, well."

Before Kayla can continue to rant, her dog, Nala, walks in the room and starts sniffing around.

"NALA!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I thought you had issues with Nala?" Kayla said to Rachel.

"I told you, that was over. Ugh, you never listen to me."

Dave inturrupted to two best friend, "yo guys. before you continue to bitch at each other, now can you tell us why you wanted us all to come here?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that." said Rachel.

"Wow." Kayla commented.

"Shut up. You know I forget everything." Rachel glared at Kayla.

"Yeah."

Rachel turned to the group of trolls and kids. "Okay, so the reason I told all of you guys to come over is because..."

**Drum roll, please...**

"Who said that!?" questioned everyone except Kayla and Rachel.

**Shoosh**

"I'm writing a Truth or Dare fanfiction!" Rachel announced happily

Everyone but Kayla and Rachel groaned. Out of boredom, Kayla pulled out her phone and began to text people.

Rachel smiled evily. "Haha, this is going to be so much fun."

"YEAH, FOR YOU MAYBE. BUT NOT FOR US." shouted Karkat.

"Hey, I never said in that text that you guys were gonna have fun, now did I?" Rachel responded.

John spoke up, "You said to trust you; that it would be awesome."

Rachel thought for a second. "Oh, maybe I should have made it clear that it was gonna be awesome for _me_, but not you guys."

"YEAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE. THEN I WOULD HAVE KNOWN NOT TO SHOW UP. I'M OUTTA HERE." Karkat stood up to leave.

**I don't think so, Karkat.**

The door magically locks-

"magic isn't real." stated Eridan.

**Shut up, it totally is.**

The door magically locks and the windows slam shut.

**No one is leaving until this game is over, understand?**

"Rachel, where is that voice coming from?" asked Jade.

"Not important." Rachel told her. "What's important is that you all shut up and listen to it. And most importantly, do everything it says."

All the trolls and kids nod. Rachel looks satisfied until she turns around and sees Kayla texting.

**Oh, no way. *The narrator swipes Kayla's phone and hides it where she will never find it***

"Rachel!" complained Kayla.

"What do you want me to do?" Rachel asked her. "That was the narrator, not me." she winked at her moirail.

**Don't worry you'll get it back once you prove that you aren't gonna just text people the whole time instead of participate in the game.**

"Damn you."

**Whatever. Now everybody get cozy while I tell you how we're going to play.**

"THIS IS BULLSHIT." whispered Karkat.

***Pretending not to hear Karkat even though she really did* reviewers are going to send in requests on truths they want to know about you guys and dares they want to see you guys do. You will have no choice but to answer _all_ truths and preform _all_ dares that are assigned to you. But remember, have fun! *narrator tries not to bust out laughing because she is well aware that they will most certainly not enjoy this game.***

"I HATE MY LIFE." yelled Karkat.

* * *

**Well, there you guys go! The more submissions I get, the faster I update. I probably won't update until I have at least three, because I don't want to make them too short.**

**~Edit: I got in trouble, so I had to redo the story format (even though I specifically did not want to do it this way) and you guys have to PM me thruths and dares. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I have to do what I'm told.**

**See you on the next update...**


	2. Chapter 1

**I have this headcanon that Karkat sneezes like a kitten.**

**Does anyone listen to Welcome to Night Vale? I subscribed to the podcast yesterday and got hooked in under two minutes.**

**Once again, this chapter is entirely my fault. I think I wrote Kayla OOC. Which is ironic, considering she's my friend irl.**

**Disclaimer: Hussie owns all characters excpet Rachel and Kayla (because we are real people); Thriller belongs to Michael Jackson; and Eridan's lines are from . Yes, I literally searched "cheesy pick up lines." You're welcome.**

* * *

**Wow, I can't believe I already have dares coming in.**

"OH NO." Karkat groaned.

"Shoosh." Rachel told him. "You don't play too big a part in any of these, so pipe down."

"BUT-"

"I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET!"

Everyone in the room looks taken back by Rachel's screaming.

"What?" she asked, glancing around.

"You don't scream a lot, Rach." Kayla said in a somewhat quiet voice.

"Yeah, well, he was pissing me off. And you know how I am, I get mad quickly and easily but get over it in a minute. Like, right now I'm fine a don't really care anymore," she glances at Karkat, "as along as he stops whining."

Karkat shook his head to erase the last bits of shock from his mind, but his eyes were still wide. He gulped and took a deep breath, then started to hold his breath to keep from talking. Rachel nodded her approval. "Let's just get started, shall we?" Everyone complied, not wanting to make Rachel mad again.

**The first review is from: Rubicksmaster**

**Vriska and Kanaya sloppy make-outs, go go go! Er, I mean... Yeah, I've got no excuse for that one. Anywho, I want Eridan to give me some of his best cheesy pick-up lines. You knoww, to wwoo people into fallin in love. Heehee. And I want Equius to dress up like Michael Jackson and sing Thriller while Nepeta, Karkat, Gamzee and Vriska dance in the background. And last but not least, I want Sollux to get drunk and try to hack Karkat's computer.**

"Ugh." Rachel groaned. "I really don't ship Vriskan. But, Rubicksmaster, if that is what you wish to see, ask and you shall receive."

What's wrong with Vriskan?" Vriska complained.

"I'm a hardcore rosemary shipper." Rachel told her. Kanaya and Rose blush.

"Well, who do you ship with me?" Vriska asked Rachel.

"John and Tavros. But sometimes I ship Tavris black, and sometimes I ship it red." This time John and Tavros blush.

Kayla dropped her input in. "And I ship you with Eridan." The spider-troll snuck a glance at the fish-troll who had also turned beat-red. "I don't think so, Kayla." she shook her head.

Ignoring Kayla, John turned to Rachel. "Uh, Rachel, sorry to sink your ships here, but I kinda don't like Vriska anymore." John told her hesitantly. Vriska looked dejected.

"It's okay John. Virska isn't the only person I ship you with."

"Well, who else _do_ you ship me with?" he quieried.

"Dave, Roxy, and, um..." Rachel trailed off. Kayla starts to giggle before Rachel silences her with a death stare. "Don't. You. Dare." she growled.

"What's going on?" Vriska demanded.

"RACHEL SHIPS JOHN WITH HERSELF!" declared Kayla before she ran away, knowing Rachel was going to kill her for saying that.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Rachel screamed, chasing after Kayla.

"Wait, WHAT?" John was in a total state of confusion. "Oh, and, I am not a homosexual."

"Right. Sure you aren't." Dave smirked at his best bro.

"Dave!" John whined. "I'm not, I swear!"

"DUDE, YOU TOTALLY ARE, AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT BUT YOU." Karkat added to John's humilation. But the dorky boy proceeded to protest about his sexuality and the three friends began to all argue at once, until Vriska inturrupted.

"GUYS!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to Vriska. "Are we all just gonna sit here, fighting about whether John is gay or not, or are we gonna follow those crazy, shipping losers outside and watch one of them get their ass kicked?" Everyone started to file outside where the two crazy, shipping losers had ran.

"KAYLA, I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

'Hey, I was just trying to be a good friend and help you with your crush, like you do for me." Kayla told her best friend.

"Right... like I do..." Rachel paused in thought for a moment.

"Wait, what are you-" Kayla was cut off by Rachel "helping" her.

"DAVE!" she shoputed towards the sea of trolls and kids, waiting patiently for the coolkid to appear up front.

"Sup." he said when he finally got there.

"Rachel.." Kayla warned, but the other girl pretended not to hear her.

"KAYLA LIKES YOU!" she announced before running away in her turn.

"RACHEL!" screamed Kayla, this time being the one to chase her friend. The trolls and kids parted so she could dash into the house after Rachel, but by the time she got there, she found Rachel had already locked herself in the bathroom, where she would undoubtedly wait until it was safe. Kayla groaned in annoyance.

**Don't worry, guys. I'll take over form here.**

Kayla rolled her eyes, but did not say a word, and sat down on the couch in the living room, as everyone else (exculding Rachel) walked into the room and found spots to sit down themsleves.

**So anyway, back the dare. First off, Kanaya, Vriska, please make your way into the next room and proceed to have sloppy make-outs until I say to stop.**

Vriska got up and walked over to a random door, and went inside.

"Hey, that's my room!" called Kayla. Laughter could bve heard from the other side of the bathroom door. "Screw you, Rachel!" Kayla called out in the direction of the bathroom and the laughter slowly quieted.

Kanaya glanced at her matesprit, who nodded once, silently telling her _go ahead, it's just a dare._ Kanaya gracefully gathered herself from her spot on the couch and walked into Kayla's room, as Vriska shut the door behind her. Eridan got up from his place on the floor and sat in Kanaya's empty seat, only to be pushed off again by Rose.

**I officially declare Kayla's room as the make out room.**

"Bitch," Kayla muttered under her breath.

**Eridan, your turn. Hit us with some of your best pick up lines.**

"ii don't thiink the a22hole ha2 any. ii mean, come on, he ha2n't had a full quadrant 2iince ff dumped hiim." Sollux said.

"Fuck you Sol,at least I can pronounce my own name!" Eridan retorted.

**Ouch. Sollux, you need some ice for the wicked burn?**

"Fuck you, narrator." Sollux calmly said to the ceiling.

**Sorry, Sollux, but you gotta admit, it was a pretty good burn**.

"Whatever." Sollux said, losing interest in the conversation.

"and as a matter of fact, i do havve some pick up lines. And they are quite good, if i do say so myself. lets's begin:

"if snowwflakes wwere kisses, i'd send you a blizzard; let's commit the prefect crime: i'll steal your heart, and you steal mine; i'vve got skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?; do your legs hurt from runnin through my dream all night?-"

**Okay, Eridan, that's enough. I don't think the others can make it through anymore of this.**

"wwell screww them; i'vve got tons of these."

**Oh well, wer're moving on.**

"but-" Eridan started to protest.

"NO!" shouted the room in unison.

At this time, Rachel popped her head out of the bathroom. "Is it safe to come out yet?"

"yeah ii'm pretty 2ure fii2h face ii2 done." Sollux assured her.

"Oh, um, thanks Sollux, but I meant Kayla." Kayla looked up at Rachel from pouting and staring at the ground.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm still a little pissed at you, but I guess I _did_ deserve it." Kayla told her.

"don't worry about, kayla," assured Dave, "none of ladies can resit the strider charm." Jade, Rose, Terezi, Aradia, Nepeta, and Feferi shoot Dave look that says _"really, dude?"_ while Kayla blushes a tiny bit and Rachel seems oblivious.

"That's true." she says. For a "smart" person, Rachel can be really dumb. "I mean, I ship myself with Dave sometimes too," Dave smirks. "But mostly just John, because I prefer dorks, considering I'm a huge loser myself." Dave looks confused that John is actually preferredby a girl over him, while John finds this awesome, and starts to tease Dave about it. Rachel watches this with a blank exterior, while on the inside she is bouncing off the walls with OTP feels.

"Don't you also ship yourself with Dirk?" Kayla asks Rachel, in attempt to bring her out of the fangirling state that she is in.

"Yeah, but that was before I started liking John, and those feelings are practically over by now. Anyway, let's continue with the dares."

**Good idea. Next up, Equius, you will dress up like Michael Jackson and sing Thriller, while Nepeta, Karkat, Gamzee and Vriska participate as your back up dancers.**

"WAIT. RACHEL, I THOUGHT YOU SAID I WASN'T IN ANY OF THESE." Karkat shouted at Rachel.

"No, I said you don't play too big of a part in them. I never said you weren't in them at all," Rachel reasoned.

"UGH. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING LOOPHOLES."

**Well, since Vriska is needed for this, she can stop making out with Kanaya now.**

"I'll get them," Kayla volunteers, then adds under her breath, "it is my room, after all." Kayla gets up and goes over to her room and opens the door. What she finds is a sight she wishes she hadn't seen. Vriska has Kanaya pinned down on Kayla's bed and their tongues are exploring each other's mouths. "EW!" Kayla screams and runs into the bathroom, desperately trying to erase the image from her brain.

**Well what did she think she was gonna find?**

"I KNOW RIGHT." Karkat says to the narrator.

"No, Karkat, just no. I am the only one who can talk to the narrator. The rest of you can only talk to her through me." rebukes Rachel.

"WELL SOR-RY."

**Wait, the girls still haven't come out of Kayla's room.**

"THANKS FOR REMINDING ME." shouts Kayla throught the bathroom door as Rachel starts to laugh. Kanaya walks out of Kayla's room and into the living room, blushing deeply, and sits down next to Rose. Neither girl looks at the other. Vriska, on the other hand, saunters out of the room like it was no big deal and plops herself down on the other couch.

**Hello, have we forgotten about Equius' dare already people?**

"Oh yeah," says Rachel. "I keep forgetting everything. Equius get into the Michael Jackson costume."

D- "Who is Michael Jackson?" asked Equius.

"Sorry, Troll Michael Jackson." Rachel restated.

D- "Oh. Why should I do this, lowb100d?"

**Because it's an order.**

Equius begins to sweat. D- "Oh. Oh dear. Oh my."

**Just go get int the costume.**

"Where is it?" inquired the sweaty blueblood.

**In Kayla's parents' room. I just apperified it there with my awesome magical narrator powers. You can get changed in there.**

"i toldyou magic isn't real." Eridan bargained.

**And I told you to shut up.**

Equius heads into Kayla's parents' room to get changed into the Michael Jackson costume and Rachel pulls out her phone to play "Thriller" off of Youtube.

"Hey, how come she can keep her phone but I can't?" Kayla asks finally returning from the bathroom.

"Because I'm awesome now shut up." Rachel tells her.

"Mm hm."

"I said shut up." Rachel glares at her friend, then pouts at the phone's screen.

Equius returns from Kayla's parents' room dressed in the red jacket and pants. D- "Must I really wear this?"

**Yes.**

"Okay Equius, go stand over there, and Nepeta, Gamzee, Karkat, and Vriska line up behine him." ordered Rachel.

D- "Ordered?" Equius asked.

**Ordered.**

Equius gulped and did as he was told and the others follow suit.

"Wait! Don't we get adorapurr costumes like Equikitty?" mewed Nepeta.

**Oh shit, I almost forgot! *Narrator snaps her fingers and cool zombie-back up dancer costumes appear on the other four trolls.**

"DAMMIT IT NEPETA, YOU HAD TO SAY SOMETHING!"

"1 TH1NK YOU LOOK GOOD K4RKL3S!" grinned Terezi, caused Karkat to blush.

"I'M NOT BLUSHING!" demanded Karkat. No one believed him.

Rachel played the music, and Equius began to preform. At first he seemed wary, but after the first chorus he obviously was getting into it.

_It's close to mignight, and something evil's lurking in the dark,_

_Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart,_

_You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it,_

_You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,_

_You're paralyzed._

_Cause this is triller, thriller night,_

_And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike,_

_You know its thriller, thriller night,_

_You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight._

_You hear the door slam and realized there's nowhere left to run,_

_You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun,_

_You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl,_

_But all the while you hear a creature creepin' up behind,_

_You're out of time._

_Cause this is thriller, thriller night,_

_There ain't no second chance against the thing with the forty eyes girl,_

_Thriller, thriller night,_

_You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight._

_Night creatures call,_

_And the dead start to walk in their masquerade,_

_There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time,_

_(They'reopen wide)_

_This is the end of your life._

_They're out to get you, there's demons close to the inn on every side,_

_They will posess you unless you change that number on your dial,_

_Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah,_

_All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen._

_I'll make you see that this is thriller, thriller night,_

_Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghoul would ever dare try,_

_Thriller, thriller night,_

_So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller,_

_Thriller here tonight._

_Cause this thriller, thriller night,_

_Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghoul would ever dare try,_

_Thriller, thriller tonight,_

_So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller._

_I'm gonna be here tonight._

_Darkness falls across the land,_

_Athe midnight hour is close at hand,_

_Creatures crawl in search of blood,To terrorize y'alls neighborhood._

_And whosoever shall be found,_

_Without the soul for gettin down,_

_Must stand and face the hounds of hell,_

_And rot inside a corpse's shell._

_I'm gonna be here tonight,_

_I'm gonna be here tonight,_

_I'm gonna be here tonight,_

_I'm gonna be here tonight,_

_Oh darlin' thriller night._

_The foulest stenches in the air,_

_The funk of forty thousand years,_

_And grizzly ghoulsfrom every tomb,_

_Are closing in to seal your doom._

_And though you fight to stay alive,_

_Your body starts to shiver,_

_For no mere mortal can resist,_

_The evil of the triller._

D- "I did not care for some of those lyrics." Equius stated.

**Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go complain about it to Nepeta. For the final dare, Sollux, you will need to get drunk and try to hack Karkat's computer.**

"ii can hack kk'2 computer ea2ily," Sollux said.

"Yeah, but let's see how well you do it drunk," Rachel told him as another devilish smile began to form on her lips.

"well how am ii goiing to get drunk?"

***Narrator snaps her fingers and a bottle of liquor appearifies into Sollux's hand* What do you say about magic now, Eridan?**

"still don't believve it."

**UGH! You are so infuriating! If you don't belive in magic, what do you think unicorns are made of?**

"Happiness," Kayla stated quietly. Rachel facepalmed.

"Shit, that's right. I forgot about happiness."

"WH4T'S 4 UN1CORN?" inquired Terezi.

"that's probably the saddest thing i've ever heard." Dave told her.

"1 THOUGHT TH3 S4DD3ST TH1NG YOU 3V3R H34RD W4S WH3N 1 4SK3D YOU WHO S4NT4 W4S?"

"oh, true. i forgot about that."

**GUYS! Please, can we just focus on the dare!?**

"You're the one who started talking about unicorns and m8gic," Vriska pointed out. Rachel pushed her off the couch. "Woooooooow. You might be a bigger bitch than I am."

Rachel starts to laugh. "HAHA. _Might_."

**GUYS!**

"i agree with the narrator on this one, i think we need to get back to this dare," Eridan annouces with an evilish glint in his eyes.

"fuck you fi2hface," Sollux tells Eridan right before he open up the bottle and starts to chug. In a few minutes the bottle is empty and Sollux tries to stand up, but immediately falls into Aradia's lap, causing her to blush.

**So much blushing this chapter.**

Aradia helps her matesprit stand up, and leads him over to the dining room where the narrator has apperified Karkat's computer.

"okay, let'2 2ee what ii can do." Sollux slurred as he proceeded to ounch random keys and do things that will probably screw up Karkat's computer so bad he will end up needing a new one.

"WHAT?"

**... Nothing.**

"Well that failed," Rachel announced.

"REALLY? I HADN'T FUCKING NOTICED. GODDAMN SOLLUX, NOW I REALLY DO NEED A NEW COMPUTER. FUCK."

**Aww. Now I feel bad for Shouty. Here. *Narrator snaps her fingers and Karkat's computer is made new again.***

"WOW, UH, THANKS, I GUESS."

**Don't mention it.**

"ERMAGOD GUYS!" Rachel suddenly shouted.

"What!?" everyone asked.

"FRIENDS is on!" The girl smiled, overjoyed, and ran back over to the couch and turned up the TV. "Oh, and just so you guys know, FIRENDS is legitly my favorite show and if you talk during it, I will not hesitate to kick your ass," she added with a blank face.

"It's true," Kayla told them.

"So, what, are we just supposed to hold off the dares until your dumb show is over?" Vriska asked.

"First, IT IS NOT DUMB! And second, yes, yes you are." Rachel sighed with satisfaction and turned back towards the screen without another words.

Everyone else looked at each other and shrugged, filing back into their seats to check out the show with Rachel.

* * *

**That was literally the worst chapter ending in the entire fucking world. I'm saving the other dares for the next chapter because, shit this one is long. I realized I needed to actually _end_ it, and this popped into my head, so, there you go.**

**(I almost said that I had to go listen to Night Vale, but changed it to FRIENDS last minute.)**

**I know I said I wouldn't update until I got at least three people request, but after the first person, I got this all typed up, and then it was so long, and a guest gave me a few, which Kayla is suppoed to write, but sh'e being a bitch, and she gave me stuff to do, even though I shouldn't let her, and yeah, blah blah blah. Regaurdless of how that turns out, I can't write tomorrow anyway, or proably any Tuesday and Thursday, so update will probably be Friday night/this weekend, unless Kayla and I can get our shit together by Wednesday. Whatever.**

**And remember guys, send me truths and dares through PM. It isn't that hard, you can do it, I know you! *motivation***

**See you next update...**


	3. Chapter 1 Part 2

**I am typing this while listening to Night Vale. I think I have a problem. I'm also wearing my stupid headset for some reason *shrug*.**

**I just want to say that Open Office Writer sucks. Take my advice and NEVER use it. Microsoft Office is the way to go.**

**The first part is writen by Kayla, then the rest is by me. The line is to show the seperation of what each of us wrote, not a time skip, so you don't get confused.**

**I apoligize in advance if you think any of your dares sucked, by me or Kayla.**

* * *

**Okay guys we got some dares to do.**

"FUCK NO!" yelled Karkat.

**SHOOSH**

"AW FUCKI-"

**SHOOSH**

"WHO THE HE-"

**SHUT IT NOW KARKAT!**

**...**

**Okay, like I was saying before I was so rudely interuppted. You all got some more intriguing dares.**

"What the heck!" exclaimed Kayla. "Who would want to dare these guys they are just... nuts."

"wwho are you callin nuts, im royalty" Eridan told her matter-of-factly.

"Fuck off Eridan!" everyone yelled at him in unison.

What are the dares?" asked John and Rachel at the same time.

**Oh, sorry. Here are the dares from... Jedi, dares are...**

**gamzee: watch saw and reinact one scene (without the killing)**

**karkat: (and this is for the reveiwer dipshits who like to ship him) no shipping him for two chapters.**

**Dave: you get a magic (SHUT UP ERIDAN) unlimited apple juice fridge go nuts**

**Nepeta: catnip (evil laugh)**

**John: do the windy thing avatar style**

**Vriska: laser pointer (you know what to do I hope).**

**Sollux: play skyrim.**

**So yeah, MoThErFuCkInG bEsT fRiEnD**

"I've never seen the fucking shit in my life." Gamzee said.

"WELL FUCK THAT CRAP WE AINT DOING THAT CAUSE I'M GONNA BE PICKED TO HELP." Karkat shouted.

**Skipping to Dave's!**

"fucking awesome" he said as he got handed the fridge full of aj. "It's like fucking christmas up in here."

**nep your thoughts on bag o' nip**

"It's purrfection!" Nepeta said happily.

"Dooo I havvve tooo." John complained.

**Yessss**

John sighed and did the windy thing avatar style. After a few minutes of everything in the room being blown around all over the place, and everyone pleading him stop, he finally did.

"Great, now we need to clean this shit up,"sighed Kayla.

**Don't worry about it. *narrator snaps her fingers and the room returns back to the way it was.***

"Thanks" Kayla breathed.

"What's this shit?" Vriska asked.

"Ye2222!" exclaimed Sollux.

* * *

**Alright guys, settle down. We've got more.**

**This one is from Guest reviewer Leok:**

**Hi! I wanted to come up with some dares so, here they are!**

**John&Dave: Kiss!**

**Karkat: Dress up as a cat :3**

**Nepeta: Tell me your OTP that does not involve you**

**Sollux&Eridan: Say one thing you like about each other.**

**Feferi: if you had to kill one person in the room who would it be?**

**Aradia: What is your favorite movie?**

**Rose: Knit someone of your choosing a scarf.**

**Jade: use puns for the rest of the chapter.**

**Johndave!**

"Guys, I told you! I am not a homosexual." John announced.

"Oh, just shut up and make out with me, Egderp." said Dave grabbing the smaller boy by the shoulders and pulling him into a kiss that lasted a full ten seconds before pulling away to reveal a dazed John and a smirking Dave. Rachel is sitting on the couch with wide eyes and hands covering her mouth as she tries (and fails) not show how happy this has made her.

"Excuse me!" she shouts as she stands up and runs den the hall and into the den to let out a fangirl shriek, then proceed to go under the pepsicola tag on tumblr off her phone until she ca regain her composure.

Meanwhile, Kayla looks weirded out as a non-DaveJohn shipper.

**Next! Karkat, the cat costume is in Kayla's parents'room. Go.**

Karkat trudges into the other room, not even bothering to fight, knowing he will still have to go through with it anyway. He comes out a few minutes later dressed in cat suits, with ears, and a tail, and everything. Everyone bursts out laughing.

"Karkitty! You look so adorapurr!" Nepeta tells him, in hopes to cheer him up.

"YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER."

**Nepeta?**

"Well, I think Aradia and Sollux are pawsitively adorapurr!"

**Sollux. Eridan.**

"wwell, i guess sol has pretty sweet psionic powwers, or somethin"

"yeah, and you have a pretty impre22ive power of pi22ing off everyone you meet."

**Feferi?**

"Oh, I couldn't possibly c)(oose t)(at! It's too M—EAN! I couldn't kill any of my friends."

**Aradia?**

"My fav0rite Earth m0vie is the Nightmare Bef0re Christmas."

**Rose.**

"I choose Dave. For ironic purposes, of course."

"Damn straight." Dave told his sister.

**Jade.**

"Oh, but I'm not very punny."

**...**

**Moving on.**

**We have one more dare left.**

**This is from livvykitty:**

**Ooo, here's an interesting game for everyone!**

**Everyone: I want all the humansand trolls here to pick a number 1 to 90. No repeates! Each of these numbers represts a song on my Ipod. Basically,. Your going to choose which sing you sing with out knowing what it is until the last moment. This is going to be all over the place. My music choices are bipolar as hell. Cute love songs are alongside songs about twisted versions of Wonderland or 19th century insane assylums. Heavy rock meets peppy pop. I have raps and just plain weird songs. You may get a song that doesn't fit. But I dont' care!**

**There was also one more, but it is a secret until it gets carried out! Karkat come here!**

"WHERE?" the short troll replied. "YOU'RE JUST A VOICE IN THE SKY."

**Oh, true, true. Then just go over to Rachel.**

The angry troll rolled his eyes and crossed the room to where the brunett fangirl was sitting on the couch after she had returned to the room with everyone else a minute ago. She whispered his dare into his ears, and a small smirk took place on his face. Yes. This was going to be a good one.

**Alright everyone! Pick a number between 1 and 90 when I call your name. John:**

"5."

**Rose:**

"22."

**Dave:**

"37."

**Jade:**

"4."

**Karkat:**

"9."

**Terezi:**

"45."

**Gamzee:**

"60."

**Kanaya:**

"21."

**Vriska:**

"8!"

**Of course. Aradia:**

"10."

**Nepeta:**

"33."

**Equius:**

"87."

**Tavros:**

"uH,, uM,, 15!"

**Eridan:**

"81."

**Feferi:**

"14. Glub!"

**Sollux:**

"2."

**Of course. Rachel:**

"73."

**Kayla:**

"13."

**Very good. **

"CAN I TAKE OFF THIS DAMN CAT SUIT NOW?"

**Hm. It didn't say how long you had to wear it, so I guess.**

"THANK YOU." Karkat made his way into the other room to change back into his normal clothes.

**Now it's getting late. I think we will stop for the night. Everyone can do whatever they want, go to sleep, get high, I don't care. Just don't start a fire and don't leave... not that you have the choice *wink*.**

* * *

**Karkat's secret dare will be up in the next chapter. Dave's scarf will also be ready.**

**Oh, and if you want to dare me & Kayla things, that is a thing you can do. All children may be dared but the narrator. Cuz the narrator's just awesome like that. Make sure you PM me your dares. And don't forget that you can ask truths too!**

**See you next update...**


	4. Chapter 2

**OHMYLADYGAGAGUYSIAMSOSORRYFORTAKINGFOREVERTOUPDATE even with Kayla bugging me everyday I kept putting it off I'm so sorry. But if you've ever read any of my other stories, you've seen how long it takes me to update.**

**Dear wonderful Guest reviewer Iceflower: Yeah, I guess you can submit dares through review (people are doing it anyway), but I had to change some things on the first chapter (you won't see it because I changed it soon after it was originally posted) which included submitting dares through reviews, so I guess you can do that, but if you have an account please PM me for anything you want me to write so I don't get in trouble, because the last thing we want is for this story to end, right guys?**

**Just imagine your patron troll knocking on your door one Saturday morning and asking if you wanted to hang out, then spend all day talking to them about all the stuff you guys both like and have in common. Kanaya and I would spend hours talking about clothes and books. It would be awesome.**

**I hate Gamzee's quirk. That's all there is to say on the matter.**

* * *

"Dave I finished your scarf." Rose called to her brother. She was currently sitting at the dining room table with Kanaya, while Dave was in the living roomwatching TV with Rachel, John and Kayla.

"sweet." he got up and went over to the blonde girl and wrapped his new scarf around his neck. It was red to match his god tier outfit. "this is so ironic." he sat back on the couch inbetween the two girls. Rachel was looking at him and grinning. "what?"

"Nothing. You just look flawless, that's all." Rachel responded giggling.

"damn right i look flawless." John and Kayla rolled their eyes.

"Well guys I'm getting kinda tired. I'll see you in the morning." John told the others.

"Okay. Night John." Rachel said.

"Night." Kayla and Dave muttered, engrossed in the episode of FRIENDS that was playing, because neither of them had seen it before, while Rachel had probably seen it four hundred and thirteen times.

John walked out of the room, and as he stepped inside of it, shut the door to Kayla's room where Nepeta, Jade, Feferi, and Tavros were already sleeping. For some reason the make out room was also the sleeping room.

"There's not going to be room for anyone else to sleep in there, now." Kayla commented. "I'm surprised the five of them all fit in there."

"Eh, we'll figure it out." Rachel told her friend. "But right now, I gotta go grab Karkat. He can fulfill his dare now."

"what was he supposed to do anyway?" Dave asked.

"Yeah." Kayla echoed, leaning in.

Rachel hesitated, the gave in and told the two in a hushed tone. When she was done, each of them had an amused look on their faces.

"Yeah, I know right? I gotta go get him now." Rachel walked down the hall into the den, where Karkat and Sollux were playing CoD, while Aradia, Vriska, Eridan, Equius, and Terezi were watching. Gamzee was in the backyard getting his high fixed. Sollux was totally winning the game, and it was pissing Karkat off.

"Hey guys? Can you pause the game for a second? I need Karkat." Rachel said.

"2ure, maybe you can teach kk how to play a video game." Sollux said, pausing the game.

"I doubt it, I'm pretty bad at video games," Rachel told Sollux.

Karkat glared at Sollux, then Rachel, then back to Sollux, then back to Rachel, before sighing, and giving up and following Rachel out of the room. Inside the kitchen, Rachel told Karkat that it was time to fulfill his dare. That bit of news cheered him up. Well, at least as cheered up as the mutant troll could be.

Karkat sauntered into the bathroom to gather his supplies, which consited of one bathtub bomb and a tub of water.

"THIS IS GONNA BE EXACTLY WHAT THE PRANK-PULLING ASSHOLE DESRVES." Karkat noted. He opened the door to Kayl's room and dragged the tub of water right in front of the sleeping nerd, and dropped the bath tub bomb in the water. Instantly, the water turned into foam, and started pouring out of the tub, onto the human boy. Bit by bit it covered him up, but he didn't wake up, which made it even funnier. Slowly, Karkat backed away from John and left the room, Rachel following, and shutting the door.

The two hurried into the den with Dave and Kayla, and the four kids began to laugh.

"I can't wait till he wakes up and sees what happened!" Kayla managed inbetween giggles.

"man, he's gonna flip." Dave assured. That made them all laugh harder.

* * *

"so what are you guys up to" Dave asked stepping into the den. Once he, Rachel, Kayla, and Karkat and regained control of themsleves, they had finished the episode of FRIENDS Rachel, Dave, and Kayla had originally been watching, then the four returned to the den, where Terezi had filled Karkat's spot and was beating Sollux on CoD.

"ii don't get iit? How ii2 a bliind giirl beatiing me iin a viideo game?"

"B3C4US3 1'M 4W3SOM3, TH4T'S HOW."

**Well, since we're all here, who wants to do a couple dares?**

"Ugh, not you again!" cried Kayla.

Rachel shot her a look. "I don't know how to take that." In case you forgot, Rachel and the narrator are the same person.

***ignoring Kayla's rudeness* First up, is from Rubicksmaster again:**

**Aradia. You. Me. Watch Nightmare Before Christmas together. Rose. Why is your favorite number 22? I was born on 8/22, so I just wanted to know why.**

"I wouldn't say 22 is my favorite number, in fact I don't think I have a favorite number. 22 was simply just the first number that came to mind when I was called on." Rose replied.

**Aradia.**

"Sure, I w0uld l0ve t0 wact the Nightmare Bef0re Christmas with you."

***Narrator suddely appearifies Rubicksmaster into the room. She looks startled, then when she sees where she is, begins to fangirl.***

"I knooooow riiiight?" Rachel says to her, immediately aware of how she's feeling.

Aradia and Rubicksmaster walk out of the den and into the living room where the movie is getting ready to play. Rachel and Kayla run after the other girls, wanting to watch one of their favorite movies with them and be cool losers.

* * *

"That. Was. Awesome." Rubicksmaster says to the other girls, who nod in agreement.

**Alright, movie's over. Time for you to go.**

"awwww," she says. Aradia and Kayal look at her sympathetically.

"It's okay," Rachel says. "Here, have some cookies." Rachel hands the other girl a basket of chocolate chip cookies.

"Sweet!" Rubicksmaster says happily and takes the basket.

***snap***

Rubicksmaster suddenly disappears and reappears back in her room, where no one can see her, in front of her computer screen, with this fanfiction pulled up on the screen, ready for her to read. And her basket of cookies in hand of course.

"She was quite nice." Aradia comments.

"Yeah, she was pretty rad." Rachel replies.

At that moment, John rushes out of Kayla's room, covered in bubbles. Immediately the three girls start to giggle.

"You look stupid." Rachel announces bluntly.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" John yells at her, eyes wide in confusion.

**...**

**It was Karkat's secret dare...**

"KARKAT!" John yelled, running into the den where everyone was. Aradia, Rachel, and the other one rush after him, openly laughing at the boy. Vriska was now playing CoD against Terezi, because she had called playing winner. Immediately everyone's attention turned towrds the boy in bubbles and began to laugh.

"It isn't funny!" John shouted at them, losing some steam already.

"it totally is,bro. and you so desrve it for always pulling all those pranks on all of us all the time." Dave said to his best bro.

"yeah, maybe..." John sighed. "yeah, i guess your right. heh heh."

"John, maybe you should go dy off and change," Kayla suggested.

"yeah, your right, kayla. but i don't have anything to change into." he said with a shrug.

**Not a problem *snap***

"let me guess. an exact replica of my outfiit is in Kayla's parents' room.

**Aww, you know me so well, John. I'm touched.**

John left the room to go change.

**Next up! This is from Demonofthesilverstars:**

**:D**

**so much yes in one place**

**Okay, everytroll meet your grubselves. *GRUBS STICK AROUND FOR 6 CHAPTERS AND THEY GET TO PLAY WITH ONE ANOTHER***

**Kids meet you baby selves *THEY STICK AROUND AND PLAY TOO***

**Trolls: Opinions on your dancestor? Be brutally honest.**

**Kids: Opinions on your pet/parent/sibling... whoever the fuck takes care of you basically.**

**Also, KUNG FU COCK CRUSHER! *kicks eridan in the crotch, then flies away screaming "ABSCOND"***

**... Okay then.**

Eridan doubbles over, holding his crotch area "OWW FUCK! wwhy wwould you fuckin do that"

"Clearly they don't like you," Kayla said to him.

"Um, maybe you should like, go ice that, in a room that's, well, not here..." Rachel said.

Feferi helps Eridan to the bathroom and hands him an ice pack, then runs back to the group. Everyone silently agrees to never speak of this.

**Okay, grub selves, coming at ya.**

All the trolls grubselves appearify into the den. Rachel is overcome with the adorableness of them all, while Karkat has flashbacks of being in the veil and creating them all in the first place. He becomes very weirded-out and pissed off.

Next the babies appearify. John becomes overwhelmed with the need to reinact a scene from Con Air or whatever dumb movie the bunny scene is from.

* * *

**Guys.**

...

**Guys.**

...

**GUYS!**

Everyone is currently way too busy playing with the grubs and babies too listen to the narrator.

***sigh***

* * *

**...**

**So.**

**Guys.**

**Are you like, ready yet or anything?**

**...**

Kayla sighed. "When is the narrator just going to leave us all alone and let us play with the babies and grubs already?" she whispered to Rachel.

"I don't know. She's getting really annoying about it though," she whispered back.

**I can here you guys, you know.**

"Damn, how?" Rachel asked aloud.

**Because I am the narrator and I am awesome.**

"True, true."

"Really, Rach? Is this just a new way you've invented to talk to yourself without looking crazy?" Kayla queried.

"First off, it's 'hashtag cray' according to Joey Graceffa," Kayla rolled her eyes. "Second, I _always_ look hashtag cray. And third..." Rachel blinked. "I need help." she frowned and sat down to re-evaluate her life.

**Okay, let's just carry on already.**

**Trolls, what are your opinions on your dancestors? Blood order, starting with Karkat.**

"HE FUCKING TALKS TO MUCH, ITS FUCKING ANNOYING."

"She's an immature meddling drama queen."

"i, uH, aDMIRE HIS, uH, cONFIDENCE."

"he'2 a liittle weiird, but he'2 okay."

"She's a purrfect shipper!"

"I Think She's Stylish, But Intimidating."

"SH3'S TOT4LLY R4D!"

"She's cool, but her stories take foreeeeeeeever."

"He is alright."

"Ah, Im ChIlL wItH tHaT mOtHeRfUcKeR."

"i hate him. he's an asshole."

"She glubbin scares me!"

**Okay, time for the kids. Let's go with your guardian who raised you. Statring with John, then Rose, then Dave, then Jade.**

"Well, I loved my Dad, but I just wish he didn't bake so many cakes all the time." Rachel and Kayla steal glances at each other due to the Degrassi reference they could make here, but silently agree it best not to talk about it.

"Considering my Mom was drunk all the time, I pretty much raised myself."

"Bro was cool, but some a those strifes fuckin hurt man."

"My Grandpa was great! I mean, before he died and everything."

Kayla stares at the kids for a moment before whispering to Rachel, "I can why they're all so fucked up now."

* * *

**Okay I hope that was a satisfactory ending?**

**So I was talking to Kayla a few days ago about the dancestors, I was like "you'd have to be brain damaged not to ship mitula" AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT I JUST SAID AND I WAS LIKE OH GOD and she laughed at me and I was so disappointed in myself.**

**Next chapter is a "special" chapter. I can't really explain it now, but you'll see soon enough. In the meantime, make sure to send me dares for chapter three!**

**See you next update...**


End file.
